Self-esteem does not feed with the supposed triumphs in the outside world, but it is an experience that is brewing inside be.

Respond to these questions is crucial to learn more about the autoestima:

– We are able to solve our crisis?

– We are pending the approval of others?

– An increase in work raises our self esteem and not get it down?

-If love increases our self-esteem is a relationship that doesn’t work well destroys? it

Self-esteem no feeds with the supposed triumphs in the outside world, but that it is an experience that is brewing in our being. We are more accustomed to look for external than internal motivation, because since guys we educated with awards and punishment systems: we reward someone, that we recognize or to increase the salary. On the other hand, internal motivation does not depend on no more than one same.

Self-esteem is the assessment we make of us, including our thoughts, behaviors, and feelings. It includes the “self-concept”, or the views and ideas formed by ourselves, as for example when we define ourselves as cheerful or serious, introverted or outgoing. We give information, which sometimes is right and sometimes not. And the “self-image”, which is the mental representation that we make of ourselves (cute eyes, large ears) is also present. If the distance between the image we have of our person and the ideal image that we want to achieve is very large, our balance will suffer.Self-esteem is the basis on which establishes “social personality”. How to live in the world, how we see and expect that others will behave as we want leads us to develop a waiting position, always in the hope others meet our needs. If we change these beliefs, produced changes in our actions

Self-esteem is constructed through the eyes and the word of others. How to interpret the facts is coloured by our history, our past, and the experiences that we have been slowly adding throughout our lives. We are born full of confidence, without fear, with provision for any learning. However, as we grow we can receive negative comments about ourselves: “what fool sos!”, “’re not so good for numbers!”, “why are you so selfish?”.

These comments may first come from parents, then in education – teachers – and finally peer in adolescence. If the comments of the parents are descalificadores, the child will begin to internalize which is someone who has no value; on the other hand, if you receive words of encouragement and motivation, you will feel that it is valuable and worthy of love. This internal image is one of the major determinants of lasting laconfianza, success and happiness. It is one of the cornerstones of a good self-esteem that will allow us to meet the basic challenges of existence.

Levels of self-esteem are not always equal, they suffer from fluctuations connected with our psychological States and the circumstances of life that puts us on a daily basis to test.A good self-esteem allows us to deal with situations of our work or personal life, and helps us to recover our fall faster and more energy to try again with less suffering. On the contrary, a lack of self-esteem leads us to seek protection in what we already know and is easy for us. We choose to stay in the same place, where you are not happy but is comfortable.

How to strengthen her?Self-esteem is strengthened taking into account the following criterio:

-each individual is a unique and unrepeatable being. If we understand this uniqueness will stop compare ourselves with other

– Through self-knowledge learn to recognize our talents and use them.

– Will identify distortions in our beliefs that prevent us from going in search of a change.

– Learn how to recognize our own desires and needs.

-When it improves a person’s self-esteem all the results in life enhance.

By: Lic. Claudia Erlich,

Sanín psychologist of APA (Association Psychoanalytical Argentina) professional Hémera, Centro de estudios de stress and the ansiedadwww.hemera.com.ar